Regulate your emotions as an Independent woman in the Hustle culture.

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As an independent woman who lives in the West, you are always caught up doing something. There is no time to breathe. Life is catching up to you. It’s always go go go. If you stop, then everything will fall onto you. It’s like there is no time to stop and breathe. There is not enough time, not enough money. Not enough ever! While everyone is walking, you need to be running.

How do you find peace in such a time and place? How do you regulate your emotions? Oftentimes, women do not know how to and they bottle everything up until it gets so bad that they need an outlet. A distraction from the overwhelm built up. They either turn to binge eating, emotional shopping, smoking, drugs, or relationships. There is a point where you reach knowing that you cannot really distract yourself anymore because it manifests in your body. You don’t want that to happen because it manifests as dis-ease and the proof (as to why you are getting sick) cannot be found in any of the lab results. 

You need to regulate your emotions in order to regulate your nervous system. If your nervous system is in the “rest and digest” mode, you will feel calm and at ease even on the busiest streets. For me, the “rest and digest” mode is simply bringing “me” to the present time. To be in the moment. To not think about the future and not dwell in the past. To relax my body among the crowd. 

It’s very hard at the beginning, you need to practice it frequently to make it a habit. Before I learn to regulate my nervous system, I would be a multi multi-tasker. I would be doing multiple things at the same time while my brain is dwelling in the past and my body preparing for “fight and flight”. After getting sick over and over again, I learned that my body needed to rest in order to heal. I learned to press pause or stop my mind from thinking about all the painful things of the past. I trained myself to be in the present moment as I get to make that choice. 

How can you regulate your emotions and make sure your nervous system is in “rest and digest” mode?

It starts with your morning routine. As soon as you open your eyes, while you are still laying in bed, watch and listen to your mind, if it’s heading to the past or future, make sure to press stop/pause and feel your body. The key to being in the present moment is Feeling. Start by feeling your body, “is your body cold or warm”, or  “are there any tensions or pain that are stored in your body?”

The practice of feeling your body is great to bring you to the present throughout the day. Do a body check every hour. Ask yourself how you feel at the moment. It takes less than 10 seconds to check in! Eventually, the moment your body starts to feel overwhelmed and stressed, it will remind you to breathe to regulate your nervous system.